• 標題:I'm An Asshole
  • 歌手:Denis Leary
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  • 卡拉OK評級:1★
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    Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American dream. About me, about
    you, about the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our
    chests. About the special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts,
    maybe below the cockles, maybe in the subcockle area. Maybe in the liver,
    maybe in the kidneys, maybe even in the colon. We don't know.
    I'm just an average Joe with a regular job
    I'm your average White suburbanite slob
    I like football and porno and books about war
    I've got an average house with a nice hardwood floor
    My wife and my job, my kids and my car
    My feet on the table and a Cuban cigar
    But sometimes that just ain't enough
    To keep a man like me interested
    (Oh no) No way (Uh-uh)
    No, I've got to go out and have fun
    At someone else's expense
    (Oh yeah) Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
    I drive really slow in the ultrafast lane
    While people behind me are going insane
    I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
    I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, such an asshole)
    I use public toilets and I piss on the seat
    I walk around in the summertime saying, "How about this heat?"
    I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)
    Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
    While handicapped people make handicapped faces
    I'm an asshole (He's a real fucking asshole)
    Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
    Ranting and raving and carrying on
    Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong
    Naaaah!
    You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado
    convertible, hot pink, with whaleskin hubcabs and all leather cow interior
    and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights. Yeah! And I'm gonna drive
    around in that baby at 115 MPH getting on mile per gallon, sucking down
    quarter pounder cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned
    non-biodegradable styrofoam containers, and when I'm done suckin' down
    those greaseball burgers, I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
    and then I'm gonna toss the styrofoam container right out the side and
    there ain't a goddamned thing anybody can do about it. You know why?
    Because we got the bombs, that's why.
    Two words: Nuclear fucking weapons, okay? Russia, Germany, Romania-they
    can have all the democracy they want. They can have a big democracy
    cakewalk right through the middle of Tiananmen Square and it won't make a
    lick of difference because we got the bombs, okay? John Wayne's not
    dead-he's frozen. And as soon as we find the cure for cancer we're gonna
    thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? Have
    you ever taken a cold shower? Well, multiply that by 15,000,000 times,
    that's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke and John
    Cassavetes
    And Lee Marvin
    And Sam Peckinpah And Lee Marvin
    And a case of whisky and drive down to Texas...
    And Sam Peckinpah
    (Hey, you know, you really are an asshole)
    Why don't you just shut up and sing the song, pal!
    A-S-S-H-O-L-E Everybody! A-S-S-H-O-L-E
    Arf arf arf arf arf arf arf
    Fung achng tum a fung tuma fling chum
    Oooh oooh
    I'm an asshole and proud of it!