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Now I'm in a band, people try to make me do things
Kiss arses and pay tribute
But I'm inclined today to do those things anyway
And I don't care who hears it

Because I'm a fan of the Go-Betweens
A fan of Robert, and I always have been
But I like Grant, not that I've met him
Because he's charming
Of all the stars, and all the would-be stars
I'd take him home to my mum and dad
Yeah, he's charming, but he's a trouble-maker too
He amuses me greatly
I like Lindy and I saw Vickers
Pete stole the set list, and the itinerary
He wrote my name down as "Tour Rent Boy"
It was hard, but so is life
I was making button badges
And I had too much time on my hands
I coloured them by hand
Pere Ubu and the Sugarcubes
Kids came in to watch me
But Pete and Sean just scorned
Just like they scorned Robert
But I secretly loved the big guy
He dressed like Sherlock Holmes
And he fixed us with a quizzative eye
Before singing such romances
That only the sods trampled underfoot by Thatcher
Could appreciate their love
Could appreciate their love